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By inexplicable popular demand I have decide to give the unsuspecting world access to this... ...hypothesis (as it's as yet untested). I warn the world now that you won't like it! Not at all. But, because I'm cruel and vicious and you asked for it, I'm going to tell you the truth anyway. Some of you are probably wondering what the fuss is all about. This is a good question and I can't answer it at all. Before I go on, I had perhaps better point out that this theory has no basis in reality at all. It is the invention of two people, who are probably a can short of six-pack, a number of years ago. They got a little bored one evening and for goodness knows what reason thought the following up...   At this point the fun should have stopped. No one else should have known, but, like all good conspiracy theories, it got out. And so the legend began (maybe I'm making this sound too much, what do you think?)...

Our present understanding of time and space (and this is my take - not the general opinion of everyone) tells us that the universe began with a quantum fluctuation (I'm not going to go into the theory, but it is possible) which was then expanded by a factor of 1050 and then the whole thing expanded - what is generally called the 'big bang'. This all happened in around 10-32 seconds. This makes the universe the ultimate free lunch. Philosophise your way out of that one!

What is not precisely known is what happened after this. Our theory states that straight after this huge explosion, everything imploded. Now, everything we see has in fact exploded. In a similar vein to Heisenberg's Uncertainty Principle, the root of this theory lies in the following equation:-

delta(c) x delta(e) = Q

where c is the percentage seen of matter in the universe, e is probability of the rest having exploded and Q is a constant. The less you can see, the higher probability that the rest has exploded. This is the Wareing-Clarke Explosion Principle. The simple explanation of this is that everything that you can't see has in fact exploded and what you can presently see is quietly exploding but not telling you about it.

It's nothing personal, its just happened. Deal with it.

Email me: chris (at) cjwareing dot net